J-Walking, Polish Style

I have concluded that you can learn quite a bit about the local culture simply by crossing the street, and that how well you can play in traffic by local rules and not become a hood ornament is one way to measure how well you've adjusted to the place. Here is an image for all of my Saint Mary's women. You want to cross 933 at the Avenue and continue down Saint Mary's Road to LaFortune to go to Starbucks. I will apply the various traffic rules and laws that I have experienced thus far to this scenario, but before I go any further, I must problematize this image. First, I know this image will only resonate with the people who are familiar with this particular intersection. The second reason why this image is problematic is because the intersection is not normally a four-way intersection, because the traffic flows mainly north-south on 933, the stoplight never changes if you are coming off the Avenue, and the light is usually only set off when the Jimmy John's person is pulling off of Saint Mary's Road. It is important to note here that there is a crosswalk across 933, with a button to push to get the signal to walk (but we all know how well that works). And this proves that I have been reading way too much feminist theory in the last several weeks because I just applied the framework of a feminist analysis to crossing the street. I just scared myself.

First I will apply Italian traffic laws and norms (because regulation and theory are not always applied) to the case of 933. In this case, of course you have to stop, because the drivers are crazily aggressive and they won't stop! Stepping out into the middle of the busy four-lane highway without a clear shot or a walking signal is nothing short of a death wish! Once you have the signal, you can cross at the crosswalk, but maybe the cars turned onto 933 will stop for you--only maybe. Crossing the street in Bologna was one adrenaline rush after another, because it was a constant power struggle for the road between drivers and pedestrians, and you could never really tell who would win.

The story is slightly different in Poland. Pedestrians nearly always have the right of way on Polish streets, except in the case of a crosswalk with a signal. Since there is a signal at the crosswalk on 933, you as the pedestrian have to yield to oncoming traffic. But for a moment, assume that you cross at the part of the intersection without the crosswalk. In this case, the cars have to stop for you, although it would be really stupid to step out into four lanes of oncoming traffic and assume that they'll stop for you. In theory, even the trains have to stop for you, but this theory doesn't usually carry over into practice and I don't really want to test that theory. But I have a slightly cruel, sadistic streak in me, and I love to play chicken with the car drivers, because I know that if I step out into the intersection without a light or crosswalk at just the right time, they have to stop for me. I love playing with Polish drivers. But on the other hand, Polish drivers are passive-aggressive, and as soon as you are two inches past their car, they will floor it (if that's possible in a stick-shift Fiat) and nip the back of your heels.

So after I have said all this, I, like all the other great feminist theorists, can't come to a clear conclusion as to whether I would rather play in Italian traffic or Polish traffic. In Italy I had an adrenaline rush every time I crossed the street because I didn't know if I was going to make it across, but in Poland I get the satisfaction of playing with the minds of the drivers as I j-walk in front of their cars. I am getting a little tired of waiting forever at the traffic light at 933, so when/if I decide to come back, I think I might change the traffic norms the first time I have a hot chocolate run to Starbucks.